First Love - Does It Ever Die?

Do you still remember the first person who made your knees go weak and your heart flutter? Did your palms sweat at the very sight of that person? Did that person leave you speechless, breathless and starry-eyed? For sure, that person was your first love.

It's been a while, but up until now, I'm still puzzled. Does first love ever die? Can it really fade away, after having given your heart to that very first person? Isn’t there always some sort of connection that comes into being after two people, for whatever length of time, declare mutual love and affection to each other for the very first time? Do the feelings really vanish over time? If it does, then was it really love? Well, I can't really say for certain.

But I guess, it depends on how maturely you value the love during your first relationship. No matter how early or late you felt to be in love for the first time, nobody can really tell if first love ever dies except your own self. And one thing I am certain of is that, you never forget that first love. It is undeniable that first love will always be something special to anyone. I mean, true, you never really forget your first love. Or, for that matter, anyone who's ever meant anything to you and touched your life in some way.

There is something in the relationship with the first love that makes it unforgettable. The very first time of feeling the way how is it to be in love makes it special that most of us can't let go of. However, as time passes by, the emotion we feel for the person we first loved will eventually fade out especially when the situation calls for it. If it's not reciprocated, or if the relationship isn't nurtured, the feelings may die. Our only way to survive and continue leading our own lives is to silence the pain that has shattered our expectations. This means that we must detach ourselves from flashing back the memories we have shared with that person.

It's true that first loves are always the hardest to move on from. Moreover, what would never really die are the memories left behind. But oftentimes, when the heart is healed, we tend to learn from it, or use it as a smart warning to be more careful the next time we fall in love. We fondly remember them and rejoice in the fact that we have those special memories which helped mold us into the person we are today with our true love.

No one will ever successfully arrive at one universally acceptable answer if first love, or love in general, really dies or not. To simply put a short denotation to a word and a state of mind as powerful as love, is to mock the very concept. Love means so many different things to so many different people. But to sum everything up, first love may never really die, but there's one thing I know for sure, true love can bury it alive!

Read more...

She's Just Not That Into You

She's just not that into you! Sure, these words sound a little too harsh, but these can save some men from a lifetime of heartache. There are times when no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get anywhere with a girl. The fact is that the hours you spent trying to interpret what she really meant, could be used to get ahead in your career, do some other things or better find someone who is truly deserving of you. Your soulmate could be waiting right around the next corner, but you'll never find her if you don't get out there and start searching.

It can sometimes be difficult to tell if a girl is really into you or if she just is just being friendly or what. But I suppose, if she's really into you, there will be some obvious signs that you can watch for to know for sure. Signs of disinterest are sometimes blatant and sometimes vague. That being said, I've gone and assembled my own list of ways to tell if she is in fact just not that into you.

• It takes you numerous tries before she decides to go out with you. When a woman likes you, the response is usually a "yes" on your first attempt. If you have to badger her to go out with you, that's a bad first sign.
• She seems hesitant to give you her number, when she does, she ignores your text messages and phone calls. It is typical for someone who's not interested in you to say, "I didn't hear the phone ring" or "I was too busy". If a girl likes you, she will always make time for you, every damn day.
• She makes it painfully obvious that she is typically into guys that are the exact opposite of you. She talks about other guys in front of you. No, she's not trying to make you jealous, this only means that you are just like one of her girlfriends whom she share her thoughts with. Take this as a hint on her part that you, for whatever reason, are not her perfect man.
• If she hugs you, she gives you the one-armed hug. If she's interested, her body language is warm and welcoming, she will hug you tight with her two arms and will stand in close proximity to you, wanting to be near.
• She tries repeatedly to draw other people into the conversation in order to execute her escape. She finds every way to make you her last priority. When you go out on a date and another guy walks by, she stares at him until he's out of sight.  If she's interested in you, she would give you her full attention.
• She doesn't laugh at any of your jokes. When a girl is interested in you, she'll even laugh at your dull one-liners, no matter how stupid and corny your jokes are, she’ll definitely laugh.
• She ignores you on Facebook. If you continuously send her friend request and you get no response, there is no Facebook malfunction!! She's just ignoring you! In fact she might probably be online when you sent your request and might be talking to herself saying, "not this jackass again!".
• She hasn’t introduced you to her circle of friends or family. Um, need I say more on this one?

If you're digging a woman who’s behaving these ways, the whole pursuit is probably not worth your time. Yes, women like to be chased, but only by men they’re actually interested in. So do yourself a favor and don't prolong the inevitable. She's not that into you!

Read more...

Love On The Rebound

So your previous relationship didn’t quite work out. And now you have been dumped. Along comes someone who seems to understand what you are going through. And you feel as if you can connect with that person who is spending time with you. At this point, you would probably think that you have found another person you can entrust your feelings with. Being so vulnerable, you would then plunge into another relationship without allowing yourself to heal first from your previous one and making peace with what has happened.

Hold your horses my friend, there's no need to rush! When your heart is still reeling from a painful breakup, the best thing for you to do is to wait. And even if you feel like wanting to start a new relationship, give yourself some more time before you do. Remember that you can never be open to a new love when a part of you is still yearning for one that has been lost. The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you to places you’d rather not go.

It’s a fact that beginning a new liaison while you are still in love with your ex radically reduces the chance that you will find true love. When you're in a rebound relationship, you spend a significant amount of time focusing on your previous one. Since you haven't taken the time that your mind and your heart needs to work through the painful emotions you're still feeling, you tend to keep contemplating on what could have been and what went wrong. All the time you focus on your old relationship, you are draining the potential of your current one to be successful.

While there occasionally are rebound relationships that last and develop into long-term, loving relationships, most of them don't really last a long time. I learned long ago to be cautious in whom I would trust. At a young age, I discovered that people are not always sincere. Some people only seek rebound relationships because they want someone to take care of them, make them feel worthy and prevent them from feeling lonely.

Needless to say, what we all yearn for and desire is to be loved, however, if you are in a relationship only to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart, then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Being sad and lonely doesn't give anyone the right to use someone's heart and then throw it away.

Read more...

Premarital Sex - Pass or Play?

Sex is a very personal, sensitive and subjective topic to tackle. Speaking for myself,  I'm not condoning premarital sex nor am I crucifying it. This is a tough issue for me to take one particular side on. Anyone can say it's against his/her values or religion, but that doesn't make it wrong for everyone. It is not mere sexual impulse, as some have been saying, but a matter of social significance. With so many beliefs among people there is no right or wrong way to discuss the pros and cons of premarital sex. 

The blunt truth is that premarital sex and whether to have it or not is a truly personal opinion that only an individual can make for himself. A person should be smart enough to decide for himself what path he would want to take. That being said, it is still clearly a personal preference and no one should be forced into premarital sex unless is absolutely certain, willing to face its consequences, and will have no regrets down the road.

We are human beings, most of us have an innate need and desire to connect with another human and drive to procreate to survive as species. We cannot ignore its presence more than we can ignore other ordinary human drives. Indeed, some people do have the will power to abstain. However, just because it can be done doesn't really mean that everyone has equal amounts of will power regarding premarital sex. We know we should but most of us have lapses even as we have the best intentions.

Furthermore, sexual compatibility, without a doubt, is part of a successful marriage. This compatibility is structurally needed in any romantic relationship and especially in marriages, but it is important to not use sex as the determining factor for whether or not the relationship will survive. Remember to work on all areas of the relationship and not just the physical aspect. Sex is the icing on the cake. Being married to someone who you are truly in love with is the cake. 

While I respect those who choose to practice abstinence because of personal beliefs, I don't see anything immoral, with people engaging in premarital sex, but it does need to be said that premarital sex is indeed cheapened if it is not a part of a meaningful relationship. Moreover, we must remember that casual sex and premarital sex are two different things, it can never be called premarital sex if you don't intend to marry your partner. And without heartfelt sincerity, sex before or after the marriage, will not sustain a relationship.

Read more...