The Other Woman

I am by no means advocating being an other woman nor am I intending to encourage any girl to go down that path. My only intention is for any girl who are contemplating on being the other woman or are in the throws of it all, to realize what I'm about to point out. Quite recently, a colleague of mine have admitted to being the other woman. She's young and seems to be an educated woman, but I don’t know what that guy told her to keep her hanging on in there for all those months or years probably, it must have been good.

For most of us, the idea of borrowing or stealing another woman's man is unacceptable. Therefore, it's extremely important that you ask yourself why you would want to get involved with a committed man in the first place. There are tons of single and eligible men out there for you to get to know, and if you didn't know he was committed at first, then perhaps you should ask yourself if you would want to continue to get involved with a man who has lied to you about his status to begin with. But despite those, a lot of women are still drawn into this whirlwind of love, sex and deceit. And in due time, most of them end up with nothing while taking a heavy personal toll. Any woman can have her reasons for jumping into this kind of relationship but none of them excuse it, none of them make it right.

But let's not forget that "it takes two to tango", so why blame the other woman alone? Is she the only one at fault? Definitely not! After all, in most cases, she's not the one who's stepping out on an existing relationship. Generally, she's just in love with the man who happens to be attached to someone else. But then again, we must also remember that "one sin do not outweigh the other". So if you’re the other woman, don't feel you're less responsible for these actions, you're just as guilty! It’s unacceptable no matter how you look at or try to sugar coat it to make yourself feel better. Don’t try to justify your actions, correct them and remember that "what goes around, comes around". 

Needless to say, any man who is serious will close one door before opening another. So why will you give up what you believe for a guy who has made no commitment to you to begin with? Don't you want to be in a real loving relationship where you can fall asleep in the arms of the man that you love and wake up to him every morning? You know what I honestly think? That you will never ever find this man while you continue to be the other woman. Don’t give up your dignity for a little bit of intimacy. Don’t give up being alone and end up being lonely. You are worth more than this, Girl, that I am so certain of!

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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

At some point in our lives and relationships, most of us have been cheated on or done some cheating. I have been through and heard enough to know that both men and women can be cheaters. Why do people cheat? Some will most likely try to blame their infidelity on the relationship, the circumstances surrounding the affair, the person they cheated with or even the person they cheated on. They rarely blame themselves.  Isn't it true?

Now the question is, can a cheater ever be trusted? Or once a cheater, always a cheater? Well, I honestly find it difficult to give a fair assessment without allowing my feelings to get in the way. As for me, I don't  really want to stereotype those who cheated once into a box which condemns them to always continue in this behavior. Just because someone is unfaithful in one relationship, doesn't mean they will behave like that in every relationship. I am, however, saying that one would have to look at the underlying circumstances before trusting the same person again.

Being cheated on by a person you trust and love is one of the most devastating things that can happen to anyone. It leaves lifelong scars, and ruins trust in a relationship. The trauma caused by the betrayal is usually so intense that the healing process is slow and complex. When you go through something like this, you tend to always have your guard up and have a hard time giving people a chance, even when you should. Whether you want it to or not, you let your emotions get in the way of everything. However, it is wrong to believe that what has happened to you in one relationship is going to occur in another.

As the old cliches goes, nothing in this world is constant, cheaters are no different. People change and try to become better, but whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual. You'll never know when or how your partner will go astray, you can only have faith that you made the right decision to be with this person, and make the most of it. We all have the ability to make our lives better or get stuck dwindling in despair. Naturally, we all want what's best for our relationships, but when we opt not to, we well know that it sets a stage for us to be lifeless, bringing nothing but heartaches and pain.

It is ultimately natural to desire the best or at least something better than what we already have, may it be a better home, a better career or a better partner. Odds are if you are unhappy with your current relationship, then your partner is probably feeling the same way. If you have exhausted all your efforts to make your relationship work and nothing has changed, then you should really think about ending your time together. But most of the time, we resort to cheating rather than ending the relationship. Creating lie upon lie will only hurt everyone involved. So take a closer look at your relationship before seeking happiness with another person. As I have said in my previous article, you are only stuck if you choose to be. Speaking for myself, nothing can ever justify cheating and there will never ever be a good reason to cheat, there are only good reasons to break off a relationship. The thing is that, despite cheating is almost unavoidable, you can still keep off most of the temptations if you play a wise game.

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