The Other Woman

I am by no means advocating being an other woman nor am I intending to encourage any girl to go down that path. My only intention is for any girl who are contemplating on being the other woman or are in the throws of it all, to realize what I'm about to point out. Quite recently, a colleague of mine have admitted to being the other woman. She's young and seems to be an educated woman, but I don’t know what that guy told her to keep her hanging on in there for all those months or years probably, it must have been good.

For most of us, the idea of borrowing or stealing another woman's man is unacceptable. Therefore, it's extremely important that you ask yourself why you would want to get involved with a committed man in the first place. There are tons of single and eligible men out there for you to get to know, and if you didn't know he was committed at first, then perhaps you should ask yourself if you would want to continue to get involved with a man who has lied to you about his status to begin with. But despite those, a lot of women are still drawn into this whirlwind of love, sex and deceit. And in due time, most of them end up with nothing while taking a heavy personal toll. Any woman can have her reasons for jumping into this kind of relationship but none of them excuse it, none of them make it right.

But let's not forget that "it takes two to tango", so why blame the other woman alone? Is she the only one at fault? Definitely not! After all, in most cases, she's not the one who's stepping out on an existing relationship. Generally, she's just in love with the man who happens to be attached to someone else. But then again, we must also remember that "one sin do not outweigh the other". So if you’re the other woman, don't feel you're less responsible for these actions, you're just as guilty! It’s unacceptable no matter how you look at or try to sugar coat it to make yourself feel better. Don’t try to justify your actions, correct them and remember that "what goes around, comes around". 

Needless to say, any man who is serious will close one door before opening another. So why will you give up what you believe for a guy who has made no commitment to you to begin with? Don't you want to be in a real loving relationship where you can fall asleep in the arms of the man that you love and wake up to him every morning? You know what I honestly think? That you will never ever find this man while you continue to be the other woman. Don’t give up your dignity for a little bit of intimacy. Don’t give up being alone and end up being lonely. You are worth more than this, Girl, that I am so certain of!

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Jealousy - Sign of Love Or Insecurity?

Are you tormented when your partner looks at someone else? Does your imagination torture you with romantic scenarios that don't include you? Do you have a fear of yourself being always inadequate? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? Most of us have probably felt it at one time or another in our lives. We feel jealous for many different reasons, and to many different levels, some of which could be dangerous.

Answering whether jealousy is a sign of love or insecurity is pretty hard. Valid arguments could be put forward for both possibilities equally well. It can be both or neither, there is no one universal answer. As for me, if it's unfounded, then it's a sign of insecurity, otherwise, it could be a sign of love. But that is not to say that one is justified in being jealous all the time. No! Absolutely not!

Seriously, in my belief, jealousy can be one of the signs that someone cares about you. Let me put it this way, when your partner doesn't give a damn on what you do or who you go with, and you mistake that for trust or security, then I suppose you're getting it totally wrong. Trust me, when someone freely gives you trust that you've not earned, or acts all secure about who you hang out with or what you do, it could either be that, he/she doesn't love you enough, or he/she is up to his/her own dirt elsewhere. I believe that, you can't be completely devoted to someone without expressing some apprehension most especially when your partner gets too close to the opposite gender.

Indeed, a little dose of jealousy could be essential for a loving relationship to help keep the bond intact and for one not to feel taken for granted. But just like drugs, which can be very poisonous if taken excessively, so can jealousy. We only need a bit of jealousy to remind ourselves that having someone's loyalty is a privilege and not a requirement. And it is imperative to deal with jealousy before it turns into monster that can ruin everything of value in our lives.

Trust is the essence of any relationship. If trust is not present, the relationship will be doomed, and where there is too much jealousy, there is no trust, only suspicion and repression. Jealousy is a normal human emotion to feel, but it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. Overcoming jealousy is indeed easier said than done! In order to tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. Once you have realized where it is coming from and what's causing it, you can then concentrate on toning it down and hopefully getting rid of it

So to conclude this, jealousy can be an important part of a romantic relationship as long as it stays healthy and doesn't involve any physical or verbal abuse. So think before you accuse and live life by treating others the way you would want to be treated.

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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

At some point in our lives and relationships, most of us have been cheated on or done some cheating. I have been through and heard enough to know that both men and women can be cheaters. Why do people cheat? Some will most likely try to blame their infidelity on the relationship, the circumstances surrounding the affair, the person they cheated with or even the person they cheated on. They rarely blame themselves.  Isn't it true?

Now the question is, can a cheater ever be trusted? Or once a cheater, always a cheater? Well, I honestly find it difficult to give a fair assessment without allowing my feelings to get in the way. As for me, I don't  really want to stereotype those who cheated once into a box which condemns them to always continue in this behavior. Just because someone is unfaithful in one relationship, doesn't mean they will behave like that in every relationship. I am, however, saying that one would have to look at the underlying circumstances before trusting the same person again.

Being cheated on by a person you trust and love is one of the most devastating things that can happen to anyone. It leaves lifelong scars, and ruins trust in a relationship. The trauma caused by the betrayal is usually so intense that the healing process is slow and complex. When you go through something like this, you tend to always have your guard up and have a hard time giving people a chance, even when you should. Whether you want it to or not, you let your emotions get in the way of everything. However, it is wrong to believe that what has happened to you in one relationship is going to occur in another.

As the old cliches goes, nothing in this world is constant, cheaters are no different. People change and try to become better, but whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual. You'll never know when or how your partner will go astray, you can only have faith that you made the right decision to be with this person, and make the most of it. We all have the ability to make our lives better or get stuck dwindling in despair. Naturally, we all want what's best for our relationships, but when we opt not to, we well know that it sets a stage for us to be lifeless, bringing nothing but heartaches and pain.

It is ultimately natural to desire the best or at least something better than what we already have, may it be a better home, a better career or a better partner. Odds are if you are unhappy with your current relationship, then your partner is probably feeling the same way. If you have exhausted all your efforts to make your relationship work and nothing has changed, then you should really think about ending your time together. But most of the time, we resort to cheating rather than ending the relationship. Creating lie upon lie will only hurt everyone involved. So take a closer look at your relationship before seeking happiness with another person. As I have said in my previous article, you are only stuck if you choose to be. Speaking for myself, nothing can ever justify cheating and there will never ever be a good reason to cheat, there are only good reasons to break off a relationship. The thing is that, despite cheating is almost unavoidable, you can still keep off most of the temptations if you play a wise game.

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Finding Your Soulmate - Should You Wait Or Start Looking?

Are you stuck in a love rut? Are you having a tough time finding the right one? Are you tired of kissing too many frogs and are ready for one exceptional man or woman to finally come into your life? Have you ever met someone or been in a relationship with someone you thought was your soulmate, only to find out that you were wrong? Are you pondering questions like: "How long do I have to wait?" or "Do I need to start making a move?". Does it seem to you that all the good men and women are taken? If you are nodding your head now, I know exactly what it feels like, because just like you, I have been in this situation.

Sometimes we just coast along hoping for that special someone to just come along. But you know what, if you are waiting and hoping for magic, if you are a big fan of the send it to the universe, and if you keep waiting for that someone to knock on your door, then I feel that you are in for a big disappointment. While it is healthy to believe in fate, it is also practical to be proactive in finding your soulmate and creating your own destiny.  Yes, eventually, you will find the person you have always wanted as a part of your life, but not without effort on your part.

Sure, we all yearn and dream about meeting the one that we are meant to be with forever. Sometimes finding your match can be just like a dream. But why not start dating? The journey of finding your match begins with dating. But while dating is a useful experience, it is not advisable to go out with anyone just to have fun and because you are sick and tired of being alone. When you go out on a date, it is extremely important that you seize this opportunity to see if that person carries the qualities you are looking for. When you realize that it wont lead to something you have been waiting and dreaming of, then obviously that person isn't your soulmate. Continuing to date that someone just because you don't want to hurt his/her feelings will only hold you back from meeting who you are really meant to be with. So do yourself a favor, it would be best to stop seeing each other to prevent any misleading expectations.

The pursuit for that soulmate is really a quest for wholeness, a completion of oneself. Others think that a soulmate is a piece of your soul that was placed within another person, which is why you spend your life looking for that other half. Finding that someone to whom we feel profoundly connected with is pretty tough. You may have met someone and are feeling affection for that person, now you're wondering if that person you are having those feelings about is your soulmate. So how do you know if that someone is your soulmate? Some say you recognize this someone with such an intense sense of intimacy, that the connection is divine, deep and very powerful. You would know you have found your soulmate when you see yourself looking back through his/her eyes.

Relax! I'm pretty sure you’ll meet your soulmate when the time is right for both of you. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts have not worked in the past. In order to achieve a blissful happily ever after, it is essential to look inside you. Your soulmate is a reflection of your soul. We meet true love when we truly love ourselves. We meet people who understand us when we truly understand ourselves. The journey to your soulmate will start with the journey to your own soul. Sooner or later, your soulmate will come along, that I know for sure.

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