Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?

Should you still be friends with your ex after the breakup? Or does it have to be all or nothing? Although the optimists among us like to think that it's possible to retain a friendship with their ex, the realists just like myself know that this is just not going to happen. There will always be some issues that will cause former lovers to act in strange ways. It's human nature to be resentful when your ex finds a new person to cuddle up to, even if your feelings have somewhat faded out, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that you and your ex once shared can sometimes be painful to fathom. So having that person lingering in your life serves as a constant reminder and makes it even harder for you to move on with your life and turn a fresh page.

You know what I honestly think? That there will always be conflicts in the friendship that may arise if you choose to still be buddies coz you were once more than friends at some point in your lives. And you will always feel uncomfortable when there is a new romance for one or both of you, not only that, a too close friendship with an ex will likely cause problems in your next relationship. How do you expect your new one to react to your friendship? Do you expect him/her to join the two of you on your little friendly hangouts? Or that he/she would sneer in your direction and keep your friend as far away from you as possible?  Odds are, that your next one will not be your biggest fan. Awesome right? Sure it is!

So to keep your life moving in a healthy direction, you need to determine exactly where an ex fits into your life, or he/she will continue to affect you and your future relationships. In my opinion, when a relationship ends, there should only be two choices. Either you choose to forget your ex and move on with your life, or you make a strong attempt to win that person back. Sure, it can be tempting to stay close to the person whose life was so intertwined with yours, but jumping into a friendship with an ex muddles those often very confusing emotions, so it would be best to forget that person and move on to the next chapter of your life. I know it's easier said than done, I certainly do, but I also know for sure that eventually you'll move on and find that person who's truly meant for you. On the other hand, if you're interested in giving your relationship another shot, you should then try and take that chance. Since you don't feel like totally letting go, chances are, you still have feelings for your ex. You may say you're over him/her, but at the back of your mind, it's always nice to think he/she will come to his/her senses and realize you shouldn't have parted ways. Do you see where I'm driving at? Good!

The faster you accept this as a truth, the better off you will be. Coz even with the best of intentions, it’s tough to become buddies after a breakup. After all, how can you move on from someone who you still make such a huge part of your everyday life? So, should you be friends with your ex? Well, only you can decide..

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Mending A Broken Heart

How long will it be before you can get through your daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without procrastinating on what could  have gone wrong? Being dumped is something, which has happened to everyone at some time in their life. I certainly have, so I know that it is just about the worst feeling in the world.

Having one's heart broken not only affects us during the break up but even for a long time after the relationship has ended. Especially when everyone on the planet seems to be happy and in love, their togetherness seems to be mocking our pain. When you have gotten used to having someone in your life, whether things were good or bad, it can feel like hell facing your life without them. A sudden thought or image rises within you. It can come as a nagging feeling or as a wave of emotion that threatens to overwhelm and drown you in the grief of a memory. This torment makes you long for a time when life was easier. It leaves you with a dull, heavy weight in your chest that often, without warning, explodes into excruciating pain.

Now, the question is - how do we get over the pain? 

Acceptance. I believe that the first and most important step to move on is to accept that your ex has gone and will never be coming back. You cannot be with him/ her again and be on the phone like you used to. If you want to get back on track with your life, first you've got to acknowledge that this part of your life are now in your past. Acceptance comes but it takes time.

Grieve. Face your grief and allow yourself to cry not for the that person who left, but for the relationship that you lost and the dreams that you wont be able to share with that person anymore. Don't be reluctant to cry if you're inclined and you feel the need to do so. Do not shy away from expressing your genuine feelings. It's okay to cry out and isolate yourself from the world for a few days, just don't make it a habit. After all, crying is a good way of relieving pressure.

Look around. Once the pain has subsided, it may be the time to meet new people. Life isn't a short but a long novel. One chapter of that novel has closed so another will definitely begin, just keep turning the pages and don't keep brooding on a single chapter. Keep an open mind and don't reject possibilities before giving them a chance to develop. Take a chance, eventually you will meet someone again and fall in love.

You deserve to be happy and not spend all your time feeling sad, surrounded by memories of the past. Move on, take everything as a challenge and face your life positively, eventually you'll emerge a stronger person than you were.

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