The One That Got Away

Have you ever had a relationship with someone that seemed so perfect and doomed at the same time? Has fate and circumstance ever hated on you? Do you have someone in your life that you consider as the one who didn’t stick around- the one who got away? The one that you find yourself thinking about at the strangest times. That one often haunts us right? During our lives, we all meet that someone that makes our lives different forever, the ones we feel as if we will never get over.

Sometimes the universe just conspires against a relationship never allowing it to reach its full potential despite the feelings you may have for each other. So will come the day when you will be faced with regrets—maybe because that person has forgotten you or maybe because he's/she's happy holding someone else’s hand. It doesn't matter whether you were just dating that someone and screwed up, or he/she was attracted to you and you didn't take action. Either way, something might have gone wrong that caused that person to leave your life completely and leave you with regrets. It could also be that you are just experiencing what every human has suffered since the dawn of time, that you can’t always get what you want. More than likely you've spent more than a little time wondering what things would have been like if the two of you had gotten together, or stayed together.

It is important to avoid clinging to something that is gone for good. In this case, grieve your loss or let your anger run its course and then move on. But sometimes it’s possible to back up and take another run at something that just needed a hiatus to allow both of you to re-evaluate things. If you're in this boat but you have no idea how to rebuild a bridge that seems thoroughly burned, here are some rational ways you can consider to try to reel in that someone who got away.

Start fresh. Instead of picking up where you left off, approach the situation as a fresh start. Let go of what’s in the past and look ahead with a clean slate to new possibilities. Loosen your grip and realize that, if you don’t, you may strangle the very thing you long for—another chance. The truth is, your old relationship, if there has ever been, is dead and shouldn't be revived as it was. If you still hope for a future together, you must let go the past and start over.

Figure out what went wrong. If for instance you want to build a house and your first attempt collapses around you, wouldn’t it be wise to figure out why before trying again? The same is true with starting over after a relationship falls apart. You must courageously examine yourself in order to identify your faults and weaknesses. It is true that success depends upon the both of you, but the only shortcomings you can correct are your own.

Fix yourself. Instead of drowning yourself in a sea of self pity, take this time to improve yourself both mentally and physically. Work from the outside in. Go to the gym or get a makeover. By working on your outward appearance first, you will start to feel better about the way you look, so that you can then do an honest self assessment. Change what you feel needs changing, break some bad habits, learn from your mistakes, and strive to be a better you.

Take your time. None of the above will happen overnight. Furthermore, the dust from the collapse of the old relationship must settle before either of you can see clearly into the future. There's no need to rush. Remember that time will mellow your old conflicts and allow your new potential to mature fully before you put it to a new test.

A good friend of mine who's been having a tough time moving on from someone who got away actually inspired me to write this article. I've been working on this for months, I just kept forgetting to finish and publish this. Seeing his last Facebook status reminded me of finally getting this one done in the hope that he may be enlightened. So there you go my friend, this one's for you. Just keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. And yes, there's a reason that someone somehow slipped through your fingers and ultimately out of your sight. But then, there's also a reason that person was attracted to you to begin with. So to find that potential again, let go of the past, start anew, take your time—and then put your best foot forward. Good luck!

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The Art of Letting Go

Have you ever been so smitten with someone that right from under your nose you let an amazing catch get away because you couldn’t lift your head up long enough to see that the grass really was greener somewhere else? Are you that person that is super hung up on your ex and convinced that if you just coast along, your ex will come to his senses and come back to you with arms wide open saying something like “I've made a huge mistake and I realized you are the one for me, I’ll never leave you again... ever!" Well if you are, then ask yourself this question: Why would you want to be with someone who has left you once or twice already? People who are deserving of your love are the ones who stand by you even when the time gets tough.

I must admit, that I completely dropped the ball a few times on love. I have let people who loved me get away because I couldn't move on and was determined to get back the affection of whoever it was that I had my sights set on. Somewhere along the way, destiny can be so cruel to take away the person that makes each day of our life a fairy tale. Then our world would start to turn upside down and we just find ourselves empty and broken.

When it comes to love, each of us can have our different stories to tell. Nevertheless, all of us can be on the same predicament, which is finding the strength to let go of the feelings that seem to haunt us. Being able to move on is not something that happens over night. The process of removing hurtful feelings from your life is not easy and not something to be taken lightly. So when the time comes that you decide that you've had enough and want to take a more positive path in your life, here are a few things that you can consider.

Dwell in the past. Yes, I've said it, dwell in the past but not too much, just let yourself reminisce each moment you've spent together. Ironic isn't it? But sometimes it's only through allowing ourselves to find painful joy in the broken pieces of our past that we can start to feel tired and willingly wave our hands and give up. When that happens, we can start the next step towards totally letting go. After all, suppressing our feelings and holding back the tears are bad to our nervous system. So its okay to cry. There are stages of grief, that people sometimes have to go through in order to move on. Don't be ashamed to take your time and allow yourself to feel the pain.

Realize your worth. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we tend to neglect ourselves, our personal goals and plans because every move we make seems to consider our loved one. Now is the right time to contemplate on what you really want to do with your life, what you've always been wanting to attain. It is through loving ourselves that we can start to move out from the doomed world that covered us. It is through loving ourselves that we can start to find the light again and start a new life.

Commit to accept. It is pointless to say you have given up and after a few days you start to dwell in the past again. You have to decide whether you want your life to be miserable forever by living with the past or start again and find joy. Once you've decided, you need to commit to yourself that you will accept your fate. Total acceptance will allow your state of mind to focus on moving on instead of holding on. This will help you learn to appreciate the brighter side of things and eventually lead you to a new dimension in life.

When your relationship takes a nose dive, you won't believe the statement that you are better off. But as time passes by, you'll realize that you are. If you can firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, you will soon realize the power of those words. After the dust has settled a bit, the reasons that you are better off will begin to fly through your head. Giving yourself time to get past the demise of your love will ultimately be all that it takes. There are no magic bullets to make the pain go away in a snap of a finger. It is something that we must work through in order to get to the better end. Time will teach you the great art of letting go.

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The Art Of Appreciation

What do you value more? Finding a partner who understands you or one who appreciates you? How would it feel to wake up in the morning and be told how much you are loved? I've certainly turned these questions over in my head quite a few times. Honestly, I've always been interested in finding someone who really gets me and if you'd ask me what I mean, I'd quickly say, someone who understands, who empathizes, you know.. But now that I think about it, I realized that what I want more than that is someone who simply appreciates certain ways I see the world, and respects certain choices I've made, even if he doesn't completely understand how my mind works. As a matter of fact, the guys with whom I've had the least in common or who didn't seem to entirely understand where I was coming from, did seem to treat me better and were more into me than the guys with whom I had a common ground.

I’ve met so many couples whose main relationship issue boils down to not feeling appreciated by their partner. It’s so easy to take each other for granted and to get caught up in a pattern of not expressing your appreciation of each other. When you do not show appreciation in relationships you risk the chance of running into trouble as appreciation is one of the best expressions of love and care. It is extremely important to show appreciation to your partner because as they say, you never know the value of what you have until you lose it. Sad to say, some people are often engrossed in what they hope to achieve, forgetting what they already have.

Now what can you do to really let your partner know how grateful you are for everything that they do? I guess the first step is to think about all the special things that your partner does for you, not only physical things like doing the household chores or making your favorite dinner. How about the way that he/she is sensitive to your feelings? Or makes an effort to be respectful to you in front of other people? It’s all the little and big things that count. Once you have all these things in mind, it will be a piece of cake for you to appreciate your partner and show them how much everything they do for you means to you. If you deliberately, proactively choose to focus on what you value about your partner as much and as often as you possibly can, you’ll find that the love in your life just grows and grows.

As you see, that’s the true meaning of appreciation. It’s not just another word for gratitude, a polite “thank you” after someone has done something nice for you, but appreciation as valuing. The thoughts you think, when you are appreciating someone or something, are thoughts about their worth, their value to you, what they mean to you, and why they matter.

What about in our everyday life? Would the same concept apply? You bet! Showing appreciation can be done in many ways. But the most important thing is simply recognizing how fortunate we all are. The fact is that, in this country, even our slums are better than the best of what many other countries in the world have to offer. So it's time to focus not on what we lack, but to fully appreciate what we already have. To give gratitude for our health, our family, our friends, our possessions, however large or small, right now. It's time to count our blessings instead of discounting them.

Appreciation is a cornerstone of love, one of its most important elements. Whether it is appreciating the beauty of the sun rising in the morning, acknowledging the joy of spending quality time with loved ones or the intimacy of making love to your partner, appreciation in general helps pave the way for a deep connection, intimacy, and honesty in our relationships.

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Should You Be Friends With Your Ex?

Should you still be friends with your ex after the breakup? Or does it have to be all or nothing? Although the optimists among us like to think that it's possible to retain a friendship with their ex, the realists just like myself know that this is just not going to happen. There will always be some issues that will cause former lovers to act in strange ways. It's human nature to be resentful when your ex finds a new person to cuddle up to, even if your feelings have somewhat faded out, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that you and your ex once shared can sometimes be painful to fathom. So having that person lingering in your life serves as a constant reminder and makes it even harder for you to move on with your life and turn a fresh page.

You know what I honestly think? That there will always be conflicts in the friendship that may arise if you choose to still be buddies coz you were once more than friends at some point in your lives. And you will always feel uncomfortable when there is a new romance for one or both of you, not only that, a too close friendship with an ex will likely cause problems in your next relationship. How do you expect your new one to react to your friendship? Do you expect him/her to join the two of you on your little friendly hangouts? Or that he/she would sneer in your direction and keep your friend as far away from you as possible?  Odds are, that your next one will not be your biggest fan. Awesome right? Sure it is!

So to keep your life moving in a healthy direction, you need to determine exactly where an ex fits into your life, or he/she will continue to affect you and your future relationships. In my opinion, when a relationship ends, there should only be two choices. Either you choose to forget your ex and move on with your life, or you make a strong attempt to win that person back. Sure, it can be tempting to stay close to the person whose life was so intertwined with yours, but jumping into a friendship with an ex muddles those often very confusing emotions, so it would be best to forget that person and move on to the next chapter of your life. I know it's easier said than done, I certainly do, but I also know for sure that eventually you'll move on and find that person who's truly meant for you. On the other hand, if you're interested in giving your relationship another shot, you should then try and take that chance. Since you don't feel like totally letting go, chances are, you still have feelings for your ex. You may say you're over him/her, but at the back of your mind, it's always nice to think he/she will come to his/her senses and realize you shouldn't have parted ways. Do you see where I'm driving at? Good!

The faster you accept this as a truth, the better off you will be. Coz even with the best of intentions, it’s tough to become buddies after a breakup. After all, how can you move on from someone who you still make such a huge part of your everyday life? So, should you be friends with your ex? Well, only you can decide..

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Dominant By Day, Submissive By Night

Women are expected to be soft and gentle. There used to be this lingering stigma from generations of the not so recent past that expected women to be downright timid. But times have certainly changed, women nowadays have come a long way in the world. A lot of them are now taking up leads in many businesses and making their presence felt in corporate world. She might or might not be in a position of authority at work, but has a personality and a level of competence. She knows now what she wants in life just like men, and will do the best that she can in order to achieve it. She doesn’t have to take a back seat any longer.

But then, though women nowadays are more aggressive and assertive than ever before in most aspects of life, men generally remain the dominant ones in relationships and sexual aspects. After all, many women, just like myself, are still wary of making the first move, and expect men to have the initiative. Furthermore, many women expect men to make the plans. And we all know to whom the burden to initiate sex falls most of the time.

Ironically, a woman who is strong, confident, and assertive in her life and her dealings with people in general still wants a dominant man in her life. Sure, that's her persona during the day, but majority of women shift roles when it comes to their emotional and sexual lives. I’m sure it’s different for everyone though, so I can only speak for myself. But undeniably, most of the fierce and passionate career women love nothing more, than to come home and be under control by a strong and masculine man. Someone who will easily take her lead anywhere she wants to go, be it in the relationship or in the bedroom. However, this doesn't mean that men are just domineering Casanovas and women are all simply doormats who want to be controlled, beyond any doubt, this is an ignorant view of the two powerful forces in our world that should ideally offer us balance, but instead seem to have been misinterpreted and thrown completely out of whack.

You might probably be wondering why do these strong women want to be submissive in the bedroom and the relationship? There are many subtle answers but most of it comes right down to natural wiring. Feeling safe and secure in a relationship is a critical element for all women. You bet it is! Another reason that more typically dominant women may enjoy being sexually dominated is that they enjoy a private scenario wherein they can relinquish some of their control. For someone who has to be constantly in control in order to keep her family and job together, her public nature can be quite tiresome. So it would be nice to give up responsibility for a change in an arena that is presumably intimate and private. Anyway, those are based from my own point of view.

Women were never intended to be doormats, and those that choose to develop a submissive spirit toward a loving partner don't feel used at all. It does not mean being weak, helpless, or inferior, but quite the opposite. It means using your unique gifts, talent, and strengths to help your significant other be the best man he can be.

So the bottom line is, you can never know for certain and generalize anything. We all deserve to have our opinions heard, deserve to be given respect, and deserve to know the exact ways to avoid all the pitfalls along the way. It is true, that women have been raised to have a passive nature, but it doesn't have to be like that any longer. So if you're a woman, you should then take the time to stand up for yourself and your beliefs – coz if you don't, then no one else will. Quit being everyone’s doormat and take a step in the right direction, right now!

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The Other Woman

I am by no means advocating being an other woman nor am I intending to encourage any girl to go down that path. My only intention is for any girl who are contemplating on being the other woman or are in the throws of it all, to realize what I'm about to point out. Quite recently, a colleague of mine have admitted to being the other woman. She's young and seems to be an educated woman, but I don’t know what that guy told her to keep her hanging on in there for all those months or years probably, it must have been good.

For most of us, the idea of borrowing or stealing another woman's man is unacceptable. Therefore, it's extremely important that you ask yourself why you would want to get involved with a committed man in the first place. There are tons of single and eligible men out there for you to get to know, and if you didn't know he was committed at first, then perhaps you should ask yourself if you would want to continue to get involved with a man who has lied to you about his status to begin with. But despite those, a lot of women are still drawn into this whirlwind of love, sex and deceit. And in due time, most of them end up with nothing while taking a heavy personal toll. Any woman can have her reasons for jumping into this kind of relationship but none of them excuse it, none of them make it right.

But let's not forget that "it takes two to tango", so why blame the other woman alone? Is she the only one at fault? Definitely not! After all, in most cases, she's not the one who's stepping out on an existing relationship. Generally, she's just in love with the man who happens to be attached to someone else. But then again, we must also remember that "one sin do not outweigh the other". So if you’re the other woman, don't feel you're less responsible for these actions, you're just as guilty! It’s unacceptable no matter how you look at or try to sugar coat it to make yourself feel better. Don’t try to justify your actions, correct them and remember that "what goes around, comes around". 

Needless to say, any man who is serious will close one door before opening another. So why will you give up what you believe for a guy who has made no commitment to you to begin with? Don't you want to be in a real loving relationship where you can fall asleep in the arms of the man that you love and wake up to him every morning? You know what I honestly think? That you will never ever find this man while you continue to be the other woman. Don’t give up your dignity for a little bit of intimacy. Don’t give up being alone and end up being lonely. You are worth more than this, Girl, that I am so certain of!

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Jealousy - Sign of Love Or Insecurity?

Are you tormented when your partner looks at someone else? Does your imagination torture you with romantic scenarios that don't include you? Do you have a fear of yourself being always inadequate? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? Most of us have probably felt it at one time or another in our lives. We feel jealous for many different reasons, and to many different levels, some of which could be dangerous.

Answering whether jealousy is a sign of love or insecurity is pretty hard. Valid arguments could be put forward for both possibilities equally well. It can be both or neither, there is no one universal answer. As for me, if it's unfounded, then it's a sign of insecurity, otherwise, it could be a sign of love. But that is not to say that one is justified in being jealous all the time. No! Absolutely not!

Seriously, in my belief, jealousy can be one of the signs that someone cares about you. Let me put it this way, when your partner doesn't give a damn on what you do or who you go with, and you mistake that for trust or security, then I suppose you're getting it totally wrong. Trust me, when someone freely gives you trust that you've not earned, or acts all secure about who you hang out with or what you do, it could either be that, he/she doesn't love you enough, or he/she is up to his/her own dirt elsewhere. I believe that, you can't be completely devoted to someone without expressing some apprehension most especially when your partner gets too close to the opposite gender.

Indeed, a little dose of jealousy could be essential for a loving relationship to help keep the bond intact and for one not to feel taken for granted. But just like drugs, which can be very poisonous if taken excessively, so can jealousy. We only need a bit of jealousy to remind ourselves that having someone's loyalty is a privilege and not a requirement. And it is imperative to deal with jealousy before it turns into monster that can ruin everything of value in our lives.

Trust is the essence of any relationship. If trust is not present, the relationship will be doomed, and where there is too much jealousy, there is no trust, only suspicion and repression. Jealousy is a normal human emotion to feel, but it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. Overcoming jealousy is indeed easier said than done! In order to tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. Once you have realized where it is coming from and what's causing it, you can then concentrate on toning it down and hopefully getting rid of it

So to conclude this, jealousy can be an important part of a romantic relationship as long as it stays healthy and doesn't involve any physical or verbal abuse. So think before you accuse and live life by treating others the way you would want to be treated.

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Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

At some point in our lives and relationships, most of us have been cheated on or done some cheating. I have been through and heard enough to know that both men and women can be cheaters. Why do people cheat? Some will most likely try to blame their infidelity on the relationship, the circumstances surrounding the affair, the person they cheated with or even the person they cheated on. They rarely blame themselves.  Isn't it true?

Now the question is, can a cheater ever be trusted? Or once a cheater, always a cheater? Well, I honestly find it difficult to give a fair assessment without allowing my feelings to get in the way. As for me, I don't  really want to stereotype those who cheated once into a box which condemns them to always continue in this behavior. Just because someone is unfaithful in one relationship, doesn't mean they will behave like that in every relationship. I am, however, saying that one would have to look at the underlying circumstances before trusting the same person again.

Being cheated on by a person you trust and love is one of the most devastating things that can happen to anyone. It leaves lifelong scars, and ruins trust in a relationship. The trauma caused by the betrayal is usually so intense that the healing process is slow and complex. When you go through something like this, you tend to always have your guard up and have a hard time giving people a chance, even when you should. Whether you want it to or not, you let your emotions get in the way of everything. However, it is wrong to believe that what has happened to you in one relationship is going to occur in another.

As the old cliches goes, nothing in this world is constant, cheaters are no different. People change and try to become better, but whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual. You'll never know when or how your partner will go astray, you can only have faith that you made the right decision to be with this person, and make the most of it. We all have the ability to make our lives better or get stuck dwindling in despair. Naturally, we all want what's best for our relationships, but when we opt not to, we well know that it sets a stage for us to be lifeless, bringing nothing but heartaches and pain.

It is ultimately natural to desire the best or at least something better than what we already have, may it be a better home, a better career or a better partner. Odds are if you are unhappy with your current relationship, then your partner is probably feeling the same way. If you have exhausted all your efforts to make your relationship work and nothing has changed, then you should really think about ending your time together. But most of the time, we resort to cheating rather than ending the relationship. Creating lie upon lie will only hurt everyone involved. So take a closer look at your relationship before seeking happiness with another person. As I have said in my previous article, you are only stuck if you choose to be. Speaking for myself, nothing can ever justify cheating and there will never ever be a good reason to cheat, there are only good reasons to break off a relationship. The thing is that, despite cheating is almost unavoidable, you can still keep off most of the temptations if you play a wise game.

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Finding Your Soulmate - Should You Wait Or Start Looking?

Are you stuck in a love rut? Are you having a tough time finding the right one? Are you tired of kissing too many frogs and are ready for one exceptional man or woman to finally come into your life? Have you ever met someone or been in a relationship with someone you thought was your soulmate, only to find out that you were wrong? Are you pondering questions like: "How long do I have to wait?" or "Do I need to start making a move?". Does it seem to you that all the good men and women are taken? If you are nodding your head now, I know exactly what it feels like, because just like you, I have been in this situation.

Sometimes we just coast along hoping for that special someone to just come along. But you know what, if you are waiting and hoping for magic, if you are a big fan of the send it to the universe, and if you keep waiting for that someone to knock on your door, then I feel that you are in for a big disappointment. While it is healthy to believe in fate, it is also practical to be proactive in finding your soulmate and creating your own destiny.  Yes, eventually, you will find the person you have always wanted as a part of your life, but not without effort on your part.

Sure, we all yearn and dream about meeting the one that we are meant to be with forever. Sometimes finding your match can be just like a dream. But why not start dating? The journey of finding your match begins with dating. But while dating is a useful experience, it is not advisable to go out with anyone just to have fun and because you are sick and tired of being alone. When you go out on a date, it is extremely important that you seize this opportunity to see if that person carries the qualities you are looking for. When you realize that it wont lead to something you have been waiting and dreaming of, then obviously that person isn't your soulmate. Continuing to date that someone just because you don't want to hurt his/her feelings will only hold you back from meeting who you are really meant to be with. So do yourself a favor, it would be best to stop seeing each other to prevent any misleading expectations.

The pursuit for that soulmate is really a quest for wholeness, a completion of oneself. Others think that a soulmate is a piece of your soul that was placed within another person, which is why you spend your life looking for that other half. Finding that someone to whom we feel profoundly connected with is pretty tough. You may have met someone and are feeling affection for that person, now you're wondering if that person you are having those feelings about is your soulmate. So how do you know if that someone is your soulmate? Some say you recognize this someone with such an intense sense of intimacy, that the connection is divine, deep and very powerful. You would know you have found your soulmate when you see yourself looking back through his/her eyes.

Relax! I'm pretty sure you’ll meet your soulmate when the time is right for both of you. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts have not worked in the past. In order to achieve a blissful happily ever after, it is essential to look inside you. Your soulmate is a reflection of your soul. We meet true love when we truly love ourselves. We meet people who understand us when we truly understand ourselves. The journey to your soulmate will start with the journey to your own soul. Sooner or later, your soulmate will come along, that I know for sure.

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First Love - Does It Ever Die?

Do you still remember the first person who made your knees go weak and your heart flutter? Did your palms sweat at the very sight of that person? Did that person leave you speechless, breathless and starry-eyed? For sure, that person was your first love.

It's been a while, but up until now, I'm still puzzled. Does first love ever die? Can it really fade away, after having given your heart to that very first person? Isn’t there always some sort of connection that comes into being after two people, for whatever length of time, declare mutual love and affection to each other for the very first time? Do the feelings really vanish over time? If it does, then was it really love? Well, I can't really say for certain.

But I guess, it depends on how maturely you value the love during your first relationship. No matter how early or late you felt to be in love for the first time, nobody can really tell if first love ever dies except your own self. And one thing I am certain of is that, you never forget that first love. It is undeniable that first love will always be something special to anyone. I mean, true, you never really forget your first love. Or, for that matter, anyone who's ever meant anything to you and touched your life in some way.

There is something in the relationship with the first love that makes it unforgettable. The very first time of feeling the way how is it to be in love makes it special that most of us can't let go of. However, as time passes by, the emotion we feel for the person we first loved will eventually fade out especially when the situation calls for it. If it's not reciprocated, or if the relationship isn't nurtured, the feelings may die. Our only way to survive and continue leading our own lives is to silence the pain that has shattered our expectations. This means that we must detach ourselves from flashing back the memories we have shared with that person.

It's true that first loves are always the hardest to move on from. Moreover, what would never really die are the memories left behind. But oftentimes, when the heart is healed, we tend to learn from it, or use it as a smart warning to be more careful the next time we fall in love. We fondly remember them and rejoice in the fact that we have those special memories which helped mold us into the person we are today with our true love.

No one will ever successfully arrive at one universally acceptable answer if first love, or love in general, really dies or not. To simply put a short denotation to a word and a state of mind as powerful as love, is to mock the very concept. Love means so many different things to so many different people. But to sum everything up, first love may never really die, but there's one thing I know for sure, true love can bury it alive!

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She's Just Not That Into You

She's just not that into you! Sure, these words sound a little too harsh, but these can save some men from a lifetime of heartache. There are times when no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get anywhere with a girl. The fact is that the hours you spent trying to interpret what she really meant, could be used to get ahead in your career, do some other things or better find someone who is truly deserving of you. Your soulmate could be waiting right around the next corner, but you'll never find her if you don't get out there and start searching.

It can sometimes be difficult to tell if a girl is really into you or if she just is just being friendly or what. But I suppose, if she's really into you, there will be some obvious signs that you can watch for to know for sure. Signs of disinterest are sometimes blatant and sometimes vague. That being said, I've gone and assembled my own list of ways to tell if she is in fact just not that into you.

• It takes you numerous tries before she decides to go out with you. When a woman likes you, the response is usually a "yes" on your first attempt. If you have to badger her to go out with you, that's a bad first sign.
• She seems hesitant to give you her number, when she does, she ignores your text messages and phone calls. It is typical for someone who's not interested in you to say, "I didn't hear the phone ring" or "I was too busy". If a girl likes you, she will always make time for you, every damn day.
• She makes it painfully obvious that she is typically into guys that are the exact opposite of you. She talks about other guys in front of you. No, she's not trying to make you jealous, this only means that you are just like one of her girlfriends whom she share her thoughts with. Take this as a hint on her part that you, for whatever reason, are not her perfect man.
• If she hugs you, she gives you the one-armed hug. If she's interested, her body language is warm and welcoming, she will hug you tight with her two arms and will stand in close proximity to you, wanting to be near.
• She tries repeatedly to draw other people into the conversation in order to execute her escape. She finds every way to make you her last priority. When you go out on a date and another guy walks by, she stares at him until he's out of sight.  If she's interested in you, she would give you her full attention.
• She doesn't laugh at any of your jokes. When a girl is interested in you, she'll even laugh at your dull one-liners, no matter how stupid and corny your jokes are, she’ll definitely laugh.
• She ignores you on Facebook. If you continuously send her friend request and you get no response, there is no Facebook malfunction!! She's just ignoring you! In fact she might probably be online when you sent your request and might be talking to herself saying, "not this jackass again!".
• She hasn’t introduced you to her circle of friends or family. Um, need I say more on this one?

If you're digging a woman who’s behaving these ways, the whole pursuit is probably not worth your time. Yes, women like to be chased, but only by men they’re actually interested in. So do yourself a favor and don't prolong the inevitable. She's not that into you!

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Love On The Rebound

So your previous relationship didn’t quite work out. And now you have been dumped. Along comes someone who seems to understand what you are going through. And you feel as if you can connect with that person who is spending time with you. At this point, you would probably think that you have found another person you can entrust your feelings with. Being so vulnerable, you would then plunge into another relationship without allowing yourself to heal first from your previous one and making peace with what has happened.

Hold your horses my friend, there's no need to rush! When your heart is still reeling from a painful breakup, the best thing for you to do is to wait. And even if you feel like wanting to start a new relationship, give yourself some more time before you do. Remember that you can never be open to a new love when a part of you is still yearning for one that has been lost. The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you to places you’d rather not go.

It’s a fact that beginning a new liaison while you are still in love with your ex radically reduces the chance that you will find true love. When you're in a rebound relationship, you spend a significant amount of time focusing on your previous one. Since you haven't taken the time that your mind and your heart needs to work through the painful emotions you're still feeling, you tend to keep contemplating on what could have been and what went wrong. All the time you focus on your old relationship, you are draining the potential of your current one to be successful.

While there occasionally are rebound relationships that last and develop into long-term, loving relationships, most of them don't really last a long time. I learned long ago to be cautious in whom I would trust. At a young age, I discovered that people are not always sincere. Some people only seek rebound relationships because they want someone to take care of them, make them feel worthy and prevent them from feeling lonely.

Needless to say, what we all yearn for and desire is to be loved, however, if you are in a relationship only to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart, then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Being sad and lonely doesn't give anyone the right to use someone's heart and then throw it away.

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Premarital Sex - Pass or Play?

Sex is a very personal, sensitive and subjective topic to tackle. Speaking for myself,  I'm not condoning premarital sex nor am I crucifying it. This is a tough issue for me to take one particular side on. Anyone can say it's against his/her values or religion, but that doesn't make it wrong for everyone. It is not mere sexual impulse, as some have been saying, but a matter of social significance. With so many beliefs among people there is no right or wrong way to discuss the pros and cons of premarital sex. 

The blunt truth is that premarital sex and whether to have it or not is a truly personal opinion that only an individual can make for himself. A person should be smart enough to decide for himself what path he would want to take. That being said, it is still clearly a personal preference and no one should be forced into premarital sex unless is absolutely certain, willing to face its consequences, and will have no regrets down the road.

We are human beings, most of us have an innate need and desire to connect with another human and drive to procreate to survive as species. We cannot ignore its presence more than we can ignore other ordinary human drives. Indeed, some people do have the will power to abstain. However, just because it can be done doesn't really mean that everyone has equal amounts of will power regarding premarital sex. We know we should but most of us have lapses even as we have the best intentions.

Furthermore, sexual compatibility, without a doubt, is part of a successful marriage. This compatibility is structurally needed in any romantic relationship and especially in marriages, but it is important to not use sex as the determining factor for whether or not the relationship will survive. Remember to work on all areas of the relationship and not just the physical aspect. Sex is the icing on the cake. Being married to someone who you are truly in love with is the cake. 

While I respect those who choose to practice abstinence because of personal beliefs, I don't see anything immoral, with people engaging in premarital sex, but it does need to be said that premarital sex is indeed cheapened if it is not a part of a meaningful relationship. Moreover, we must remember that casual sex and premarital sex are two different things, it can never be called premarital sex if you don't intend to marry your partner. And without heartfelt sincerity, sex before or after the marriage, will not sustain a relationship.

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Fear Of Commitment

Are you reluctant to tie the knot or even avoid conversations about having serious relationship? If that's the case, then its time for you to figure out why you are afraid of commitment and perhaps know what you can do about it.

Some people can't really hold on to or have a steady relationship. When they find someone they like, they will fall head over heals with that person. They will shower them with love and affection, make them feel their world will come to an end if they spurn them or misunderstand them. But then when they enter into a relationship, they always feel trapped and suffocated, and get the awful feeling in the pit of their stomach then everything will take a different turn. Anyone who has fear of commitment starts relationships with seemingly good love partners only to suddenly break them off just as they are becoming serious.

What causes this fear? It can actually be several. For some, they deny to consider the value of promises in relationships probably because they witnessed a separation of their parents or any of their dear ones. Others just don't want to commit because they are afraid to fail to keep promises. It could also be that they have seen too many relationships breaking up among their friends to be able to believe in commitment. Or maybe because they simply think that their life will be like a dull dish with just one flavor. 

Although a fear of commitment can be deeply rooted in past experiences, it is possible to overcome this fear, especially if you truly love someone. The first step to get over a fear of commitment is to build trust with your partner. Trust is a must for each and every relationship to evolve and last a long time. Secondly, change the way you look at relationships. Assess your situation realistically and then ask yourself another question: What if you never take a chance on love because of your fears, won’t you end up alone anyway? Lastly, don't be a coward, take the risk. There is no guarantee that your choice will pan out, neither will it go the way you prefer; but there is also no necessity that you must accept your fate. You can still decide. You are stuck only if you choose to be. 

Commitment doesn't take away your options in life or set yourself up for failure. Realize that committing to someone does not have to mean a loss of your freedom or your identity, and understand that not all relationships are doomed to fail. Instead, it's a chance to grow with and learn from another person. Not everyone in life will hurt you, and not everyone in life is going to cheat and leave you.

I firmly believe that committing to something, or someone, is one of life's most empowering and liberating experience.

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Mending A Broken Heart

How long will it be before you can get through your daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without procrastinating on what could  have gone wrong? Being dumped is something, which has happened to everyone at some time in their life. I certainly have, so I know that it is just about the worst feeling in the world.

Having one's heart broken not only affects us during the break up but even for a long time after the relationship has ended. Especially when everyone on the planet seems to be happy and in love, their togetherness seems to be mocking our pain. When you have gotten used to having someone in your life, whether things were good or bad, it can feel like hell facing your life without them. A sudden thought or image rises within you. It can come as a nagging feeling or as a wave of emotion that threatens to overwhelm and drown you in the grief of a memory. This torment makes you long for a time when life was easier. It leaves you with a dull, heavy weight in your chest that often, without warning, explodes into excruciating pain.

Now, the question is - how do we get over the pain? 

Acceptance. I believe that the first and most important step to move on is to accept that your ex has gone and will never be coming back. You cannot be with him/ her again and be on the phone like you used to. If you want to get back on track with your life, first you've got to acknowledge that this part of your life are now in your past. Acceptance comes but it takes time.

Grieve. Face your grief and allow yourself to cry not for the that person who left, but for the relationship that you lost and the dreams that you wont be able to share with that person anymore. Don't be reluctant to cry if you're inclined and you feel the need to do so. Do not shy away from expressing your genuine feelings. It's okay to cry out and isolate yourself from the world for a few days, just don't make it a habit. After all, crying is a good way of relieving pressure.

Look around. Once the pain has subsided, it may be the time to meet new people. Life isn't a short but a long novel. One chapter of that novel has closed so another will definitely begin, just keep turning the pages and don't keep brooding on a single chapter. Keep an open mind and don't reject possibilities before giving them a chance to develop. Take a chance, eventually you will meet someone again and fall in love.

You deserve to be happy and not spend all your time feeling sad, surrounded by memories of the past. Move on, take everything as a challenge and face your life positively, eventually you'll emerge a stronger person than you were.

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Afraid To Fall In Love or Afraid Of Being Rejected?

Falling in love is inevitable, it's one of the most magical things that can happen to a person. It makes us feel invincible. It makes us feel like we're not alone in the universe. But why is it that some people are afraid of falling in love?

I suppose what most people are most afraid of is unrequited love. It's one of the hardest things anybody has to go through. Some are also afraid that they might choose the wrong person. Or that their loved one will hurt them at some point in their lives. Most people wouldn't want to put themselves at the mercy of another, and they feel like it's safer to never let themselves fall in love in the first place. Anyone who's been burned in a relationship will be a little more cautious every time.

Rejection is also one of negative aspects of life that we all fear to ever have to go through. Having to deal with rejection is certainly so hard for someone to move on from. It's a part of life that we will encounter along the journey of life either directly or indirectly. Something that exists, needs to be dealt with, and not ignored. 

The negative aspects of life are what shape our character and make us wise. How we deal with these negatives is very vital. If we will choose to stay on the negative and not use them as stepping stones, then I am afraid we are doomed to be alone forever. 

When someone does not want you, never force yourself on him or her. Respect their decision and move on. Don’t let it harbor in your heart in anger or try to get to hurt them or keep fighting to have them. Hey, sometimes some things are just never meant to be and at times it’s a blessing in disguise. Falling in love is always worth a try.

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How To Lose Weight Fast

Healthy weight loss can be achieved fairly quickly but be reminded that you need to be consistent and very patient. Keeping your motivation up is one of the most difficult aspects of dieting. There will be days when healthy eating goes out the window, and there will be weeks where you may not lose any weight – or put a little back on. Here are some tips to lose weight effectively.

• Be realistic. Set goals that are realistic. Aim for a healthy body and not for a certain number of pounds that you want to lose.
• Drink plenty of water. Adequate water is essential for our body. Drink a glass of water before your meal as it helps your digestion. Not only that, it also gives a sensation of fullness in your stomach that will keep you from overeating.
• Eat more fiber. Fiber keeps the right amount of water in your intestines, making your digestive system work more efficiently and helping to keep you regular.
• Eat mini-meals but more frequent. This way, your body starts to increase its metabolism so that calories are burned faster.
• Use smaller plates when you eat. When eating at home, it’s better to get rid of the huge plates you usually use, this way you will not be tempted to eat large portions.
• Exercise. To lose weight effectively, you either need to decrease the number of calories you intake or increase the amount of calorie that you burn. Start by walking more and being more physically active. Practice a sport you enjoy or you always wanted to try.

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How To Manually Remove a Virus From Your Computer

Its extremely important to have a virus protection installed on your computer. However, there are times when a full virus scan is unnecessary and time-consuming. The following steps will help you remove virus manually from your computer and removable disk.

1. Back Up. Before all else, back up all your important files to an external drive or CD's before removing a virus.

2. Restart. Restart your computer in Safe Mode.

3. Command Prompt. To manually remove a virus, whether from your computer's internal hard drive or any external or removable disk, you will need to use the command prompt. Go to Start> Programs> Accessories> Command Prompt

4. Find the Virus File.  Locate the offending virus file. Somehow you knew this virus got through your firewall. Maybe you accidentally downloaded it with an email, so you'll find it in the email attachments folder. Perhaps you saw the name in a virus report then came across it while searching for another file. Often with the Windows OS, a virus will show up in the system folder or temporary folder. In any case, open the folder with the virus.(e.g. virus.exe) 

5. Remove Permissions. In the command prompt, take a little antivirus action and remove its permissions with the following command: attrib -r -a -s -h virus.exe

6. Remove File. Now that you have weakened the virus, flush it out of your computer system. In the command prompt, type: del virus.exe to remove a virus from a computer.

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How To Speed Up Your Computer

If your computer is a bit sluggish or boots up slower than usual, consider doing a few basic maintenance steps.

1. Change you StartUp settings. There are some applications that are set to start each time you load Windows and that takes time for your computer to load. In order to make your operating system load up faster, you can control which programs are loaded up during Windows startup. 

(a)    Hit Start.

(b)    Hit Run.

(c)    Type msconfig on the text box provided.

(d)    Hit Enter

(e)    Inside the “System Configuration Utility” dialogue box, hit the tab for Startup.

(f)    Uncheck the boxes next to the items you do not want to load when Windows boots up.

(g)    Hit the OK button when you are done un-ticking those items and a new dialogue box will populate your screen, asking you to either Restart or Exit Without Restart. Hit Restart and notice that when windows loads back up, that the startup time is clearly faster than usual.

2. Delete Temporary Files from time to time. These files can slow your computer down.

(a)    Hit Start.

(b)    Highlight Programs.

(c)    Highlight Accessories.

(d)    Highlight System Tools.

(e)    Right click on Disk Cleanup.

(f)    On the Select Drive dialogue box, select the drive letter you want to cleanup and hit the OK button to start the calculations of how much space you can free up in this specific drive.

(g)    When the tool finishes its task of calculating the space, a new window will pop out that lists files you can delete. Check all boxes found under Files to delete, press OK then Yes to proceed with the cleanup. Patiently wait for the tool to finish its task.

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How To Access Your PC If You Forget Your Windows Password

These are the steps that you can take to access your system and files again if you ever lock out your own computer:

• Reset the password with a Windows installer.
1. Taking your Windows CD-ROM and inserting it into the computer will allow you do reboot the computer and reset the password.

2. Go to the Setup menu and choose the Repair option by clicking R This will repair your hard disks and copy your files. When it is done, your PC will reboot automatically. 

3. Press Shift + F10 to open a command prompt. From here, you can access the Control Panel by entering control.exe (Windows 2000) or nusrmgr.cpl (Windows XP). You will now be able to reset your password. 

• Create a second Computer Administrator account. Creating a second administrative account allows you to have the same level of access to the computer and its files apart from your primary administrative profile. Using this other account you can change the password of your other account so you can access it again. 
1.Go to Control Panel then User Accounts

2. Create a new account and name it

3. Pick account type as Computer Administrator

4. Assign a password that you wouldn't forget  (e.g. anniversary date) 

5. Create a password hint (e.g. your first pet's name)

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